Writing this letter is as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. It’s time to part ways and move on. When we were introduced, you were all I knew of your kind of good time. You and your friends (especially Pot and Bud) were nice enough. We had a lot of really fun times and you helped get me through a few rough patches. Even some health stuff – which we know was not your official job and I appreciate it.
Your Bad Reputation
If you don’t know already, you have a bad reputation. It’s not entirely your fault. There are so many undeserving reasons for it, but nonetheless, you have a bad rap. I’ve managed to keep our relationship a secret for all these years but it’s exhaustive. I shouldn’t have to. When something can make you feel so great, you want to share it and shout it from the rooftops. I just can’t do that with you.
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate all you and your friends have done and embody. I love tie-dye, peace signs, lava lamps, and geriatric stoner icons as much as anyone you’ve shown a good time. You brought all of us to where we are today. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have this innovation, science, culture, connection, and future ahead of us. But that’s just it. The future is Cannabis.
If you haven’t noticed, there are some serious medical issues you could help masses of people overcome. The problem is your…stench. Not just the stink around your character, but your odiferous nature. Again, not your fault but people have an issue with it. Cannabis has ways of concentrating, extracting and medicating in a really unique way. Even without offending nearby olfactory glands. We both know you could do the same but no one will buy it.
I know what you’re thinking. You think you are Cannabis and this is my point. Genetically – yes. You are exactly the same thing as Cannabis. But Cannabis is so much more. Cannabis gets laws and minds changed.
Cannabis heals. Cannabis is acknowledged as a full and proper plant with a litany of medicinal considerations. Cannabis arrives in a sturdy and proper vessel versus that ridiculous baggie that you cling to. Its terpenes and cannabinoid profiles are recognized and studied. You are known for melting into the couch covered in Cheeto dust and spilled bong water. That’s pretty hard to overcome and come off as the healthy alternative that Cannabis is.
No More Hiding
I want to be able to participate in events and activities and include Cannabis – without having to sneak off together. And it’s time to speak publicly and with everyone about what Cannabis can do to help them live an active, healthy life. Your presence is a wall of judgment that prohibits educating even open-minded individuals.
Weed Versus Athletes
We can’t wash the stigma off of you and you know how I feel about health. You can’t come anywhere near Health. Or Fitness for that matter. Look what happened with Michael Phelps. And Ricky Williams. We need to show how cannabis changes lives. Helping people get off toxic pills, controlling epilepsy, anxiety, pain, performance enhancement…these are things that people need to see when they see Cannabis.
Cannabis Versus Everyone
Cannabis doesn’t have a gaggle of goofy friends that are literally the exact same version of you – just with a confusing list of names. My 96-year-old Grandma even asked about Cannabis. Asked if Cannabis could help her! Cannabis just comes across as cleaner, more therapeutic and with less shame attached. It’s as simple as that.
Undoubtedly, you’ll feel slighted and will rally your friends and fans against me. You get them in the breakup. Should your die-hard fans despise me, I’ll take it because it’s for all our greater good. The more accepted Cannabis is, the more acceptable you and your friends will become. You’ll have a big part in Cannabis History.
The Future with Cannabis
Don’t hate us for too long. Once you see the power of Cannabis and the Country takes notice, your reputation, and that of your friends, will just be old news. You will always have your fans to help voice objections. Even when there is no reason to.
I hope you will soon understand and we can be cool again. I’ll miss the casualness and rebellious quality of what you and your friends have and I’ll always smile when I think of our good times. You hold a piece of my heart and we both know your powerful role all these years in all aspects of my life and health. That will never go unrecognized.
I Finally Quit You, Weed
Thanks again for everything you and your friends have done to bring this movement and culture to where it is. Cannabis will take it across the finish line. No hard feelings?
With All My (Incredibly Healthy) Heart,
Do you mind passing on some messages to your friends? Not much to say to but I didn’t want to leave them wondering what happened.
Pot – I think I met Bud, Pot and you at the same time. Pot and I still and will always get together. It’s not just about medicine and science. Pot will forever be my favorite escape, elixir, social connector and recreation comrade. Pot knows it and is okay with my thing for Cannabis.
Bud – of all your friends, I think Bud maintained the cleanest image. I have no doubt we will get together intermittently just like Pot. Bud is quite involved on the medicinal side of things and has a decent knowledge base so I don’t think we will part ways over Cannabis.
Hash – when our friend snuck Hash into the States, I was enamored. Hash knew how to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy. But since then, Hash’s unavailability has had us drifting apart for some time. I hope Hash works that out and we get to share some time again.
Grass and Herb – your crazy cousins – you know I love references to nature but they get confused with the guys in the garden department.
Cabbage and (the Devil’s) Lettuce – not a lot of love lost there as no one we know liked them anyway. They always wilted too early.
Mary Jane – it was cool to have a female represent such a culturally vast commodity. Girl power with a dual meaning monogram. But she’s no longer original and everyone apes Mary Jane. MJ is everywhere now.
Reefer – Reefer’s madness is well documented so I won’t even get into that. I just never cared much for reefer beyond the jokes.
Ganja/Ganga – (sorry – I never got the preferred spelling) – just saying Ganja makes me uncomfortable. I am definitely not cool enough to share space with Ganja. It’s awkward.
Dope – Outside of Disney, Dope isn’t what I want to be associated with. Dope’s cultural perception is worse when you consider the other drugs Dope is publicly connected with.
Marijuana – Once I learned how racist and demeaning Marijuana is, I find it hard to commingle. Even though we are all forced to with it being called Medical Marijuana in legal States. What a slap in the face.
Thanks again, Weed. Speaking on behalf of all Cannabis consumers, we wouldn’t be here without you! Step toward the future. Grow past the stigma and answer to Cannabis.